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Posted in Burgundy with tags , , on June 29, 2012 by ana


I took the train to Burgundy this morning. My bag weighed a ton but now I’m glad I brought nice candles and books and my rosemary plant with me.  Walking to the butcher earlier today, and a bit later while driving around Baune I was reminded of Lecce, where I was last summer in Italy. I was there at this time last year. The two cities don’t exactly look alike but they have, at least at first glance, a similar feeling. There are also similarities to what I did there and what I am doing here.

I instantly liked the women, a mother and daughter, I’m working for. Marjorie, the mom, picked  me up at the train station in her tiny, bright blue, vintage car. On the way back to the school we stopped at the cave to pick up some wine. Once at the school we drank coffee, discussed some of the work ahead, and got ready for tomorrow’s class. There is an old bloodhound at the school. Her name is Lilly. She looks like she could have stepped out of a Disney cartoon in the seventies or could be in a Sylvain Choumet movie today. She slept in the corner while I polished wine glasses. Kendall, the daughter, ironed napkins. The room was all white- white walls, white pottery, white napkins and aprons, and above the white mantel seven bright orange Gerbera daisies each in its own glass bottle. The daisies made me think of Cleo. They are her favorites.

After running some errands we arrived at my new home. A little time-share apartment that is part Florida vacation and part dorm room but with a field behind my porch and  a church steeple and mountains in the distance. I’m not staying in Baune but a smaller town ten minutes from there called Levernois.  After I unpacked I had goat cheese and figs and saucisson for dinner on a picnic table outside. The sky was still light at almost nine o’clock at night. I ate slowly, barefoot, taking it all in and thought this exactly where I am supposed to be and how I am supposed to feel- a little alone in the country, swimming in feelings of both the impermanence of things and their beauty. I think the days, the air, the sky will add up and fill me with just the right thing. What that is exactly I don’t know.

Earlier, while we drove around, Marjorie said to me, if you stay open to the experience it will change you.

I know she is right. I think she is one of the reasons why I’m here. I think I am going to learn a lot from her about running a business, about cooking and in general about how to create the kind of life I’m after.

Last month, when all was said and done with the painter, and I had lost my job at the bakery, Nicki said to me, it is all about stepping into the adventure of the next moment. 

I keep thinking about that. I carry a lot of joy within me but there is often an unshakable longing and nostalgia. It leaves me wondering what exactly it is that I feel is missing. What is it that I want that I don’t have and how can I give it to myself. I think the answer lies in diving deeper into this life of food, writing, creativity, and celebration, and eventually in opening my own business. I want to find the stillness that allows things to unfold as they are meant to, without sadness, without fear or judgement or exasperation.