Today was filled with epic crying. Driving around unable to ignore the enormous loss I feel I cried and cried and cried. I’m so angry at him, at life, at me. And then I drove past the Palladium and while I usually avoid any architectural memory of us I couldn’t help but see us there frozen in time watching Belle and Sebastien as everything was falling apart. I saw us going for a late dinner after, sitting at the bar at Mozza still able to have a good time even amidst the heaviness. And then I cried for his heart and for mine. What a shame life could have been so different now. But I don’t regret it I know I made the right decision.

Someone dear wished me lots of adventure and happiness this year, and I was thinking how right he was to wish me that, how much I want that.